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Submitted on
June 28, 2012
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209 (who?)

you were

the smoke pouring out of her mouth,
(misty coils of a vague filth,
dancing to noir jazz, fading with each note)
smudged lipstick on the side of of her mouth,
and the little streak that crawled to her tooth
when she bit her lip in a supposed wonder,
and her eyes threw a faint film over themselves,
(like an elegant lady wraps a silk shawl around herself in a light breeze)


you had

the light feet of a dancer
whose calluses were hidden under tight shoes,
whose toes would arch like Nut over her children,
(and she or you would spin with the earth, holding her frame as if-
as if earth was something of mass, as if it had a shape to hold onto)
whose leg would stretch over her head,
her arms, long, pretty, snakes, her fingers curled, and her wrists tense
(her eyelashes were grazing her cheekbones,
her ballet whisking her like a beaten egg, and the laces of her shoes
caught on a rusty nail, which sliced her ankle open, a wince danced on her lips,
mocking her)


you sang

a whisper from an old throat,
beaten with cigarette smoke
(an old rusty pipe, with water leaking into the raw dirt)
static from an old radio, each whir with a purpose,
(a language you never learned, so you make do with "hellos," "how are yous?" and "good-byes")
the voice that was a crow, choking on a small paperclip it picked up from your windowsill to build its nest.
(the sun was reaching out to stroke it, bouncing off its surface,
an appeal to the bird's eye)


she lightly tapped her cigarette holder on the mahogany ash tray,
left a ten dollar bill in the old musician's trumpet case,
and with her aching heel, and blister on her pinkie toe,
gracelessly paraded out of the bar,
moving her tongue over the stain on her tooth.
you were not so kind

Oo my first DD! thank you very very much :))
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-13
compare by ~jaani-androphile ( Suggested by sachalkhan and Featured by thorns )
what inspired you to write this? im intrigued.
jaani-androphile Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i am not sure. i just have a wave of thoughts and write. :P i don't plan my writing.
Venry Nov 24, 2012  Student General Artist
:faint: This is so incredible! I'm sorry I'm extremely late, but congrats on such a well deserved DD!
jaani-androphile Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much <333
Venry Nov 26, 2012  Student General Artist
(Belated) congrats on the DD... this has a delectable atmosphere. Well-deserved! :heart: :coffeecup:
jaani-androphile Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much :D
aabradl Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I very rarely take the time to actually read the literature posted on this site for various - largely inconsequential - reasons, but I happened to be flipping through the DDs today and I'm very glad to have stumbled upon this piece. Very well done! It was haunting, lovely, and...almost like an echo. I love it.
jaani-androphile Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i am glad that you feel this way. :) thank you very much :hug:
supahstah145 Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So lyrical~ I love the way you use all those beautiful descriptive words in such a poetic way~ Congrats on the well-deserved DD!! <333
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