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eins.

you were

the smoke pouring out of her mouth,
(misty coils of a vague filth,
dancing to noir jazz, fading with each note)
smudged lipstick on the side of of her mouth,
and the little streak that crawled to her tooth
when she bit her lip in a supposed wonder,
and her eyes threw a faint film over themselves,
(like an elegant lady wraps a silk shawl around herself in a light breeze)

zwei.

you had

the light feet of a dancer
whose calluses were hidden under tight shoes,
whose toes would arch like Nut over her children,
(and she or you would spin with the earth, holding her frame as if-
as if earth was something of mass, as if it had a shape to hold onto)
whose leg would stretch over her head,
her arms, long, pretty, snakes, her fingers curled, and her wrists tense
(her eyelashes were grazing her cheekbones,
her ballet whisking her like a beaten egg, and the laces of her shoes
caught on a rusty nail, which sliced her ankle open, a wince danced on her lips,
mocking her)

drei.

you sang

a whisper from an old throat,
beaten with cigarette smoke
(an old rusty pipe, with water leaking into the raw dirt)
static from an old radio, each whir with a purpose,
(a language you never learned, so you make do with "hellos," "how are yous?" and "good-byes")
the voice that was a crow, choking on a small paperclip it picked up from your windowsill to build its nest.
(the sun was reaching out to stroke it, bouncing off its surface,
an appeal to the bird's eye)

vier.

she lightly tapped her cigarette holder on the mahogany ash tray,
left a ten dollar bill in the old musician's trumpet case,
and with her aching heel, and blister on her pinkie toe,
gracelessly paraded out of the bar,
moving her tongue over the stain on her tooth.
you were not so kind

Oo my first DD! thank you very very much :))
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-13
compare by ~jaani-androphile ( Suggested by sachalkhan and Featured by thorns )
:iconhijinxd:
Hijinxd Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
what inspired you to write this? im intrigued.
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i am not sure. i just have a wave of thoughts and write. :P i don't plan my writing.
Reply
:iconvenry:
Venry Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student General Artist
:faint: This is so incredible! I'm sorry I'm extremely late, but congrats on such a well deserved DD!
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much <333
Reply
:iconvenry:
Venry Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Student General Artist
:hug:
Reply
:iconarchelyxs:
archelyxs Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
(Belated) congrats on the DD... this has a delectable atmosphere. Well-deserved! :heart: :coffeecup:
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much :D
Reply
:iconaabradl:
aabradl Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I very rarely take the time to actually read the literature posted on this site for various - largely inconsequential - reasons, but I happened to be flipping through the DDs today and I'm very glad to have stumbled upon this piece. Very well done! It was haunting, lovely, and...almost like an echo. I love it.
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i am glad that you feel this way. :) thank you very much :hug:
Reply
:iconsupahstah145:
supahstah145 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So lyrical~ I love the way you use all those beautiful descriptive words in such a poetic way~ Congrats on the well-deserved DD!! <333
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you c:
Reply
:iconsupahstah145:
supahstah145 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem~ :)
Reply
:iconsincebecomeswhy:
sincebecomeswhy Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Please remember the little people on your way up, miss androphile. :)
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
but i'm just a little person. c: :hug:
Reply
:iconsincebecomeswhy:
sincebecomeswhy Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
then i'm nobody :invisible:
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
no, you're awesome :hug:
Reply
:iconsincebecomeswhy:
sincebecomeswhy Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:happycry:
Reply
:iconskysongma:
SkysongMA Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Writer
I think my favorite part of this is that repetition of "as if"--it's just the right thing at just the right moment. Although this whole poem is full of right moments.
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much :D
Reply
:iconpippinfox:
PippinFox Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it! Great imagery n_n
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much c:
Reply
:iconpippinfox:
PippinFox Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome n_n
Reply
:iconshadowxiao:
Shadowxiao Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Fantastic piece—there's so much going on that it just beckons to be read again and again.
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very very much :)
Reply
:iconafinewar:
AFineWar Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congratulations on your Daily Deviation :clap:
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much <33
Reply
:iconsachalkhan:
sachalkhan Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
congrats bitch
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
fuk yah
Reply
:iconjennifermulkerrin:
JenniferMulkerrin Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Professional Photographer
wonderful!
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconnyiana-sama:
Nyiana-sama Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
:la: Congrats on the daily deviation!
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you so much c:
Reply
:iconnyiana-sama:
Nyiana-sama Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
:huggle: You're welcome!
Reply
:iconelorecohlt:
EloreCohlt Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Just... wow.
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks :D
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: thank you c:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconbrassteeth:
brassteeth Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
That first stanza is remarkable. Congratulations on your D.D!
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much :D
Reply
:icondigiridoo:
Digiridoo Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
:iconjokerclapplz: Well done, just well done. :iconjokerclapplz:

This stirred genuine emotion in me.
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much :D
Reply
:icondigiridoo:
Digiridoo Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Sure thing.
Reply
:iconlteasley67:
lteasley67 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012   General Artist
i like the fact that you tossed in dome German numbers. :D
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
hee hee C: <3 thanks
Reply
:iconlteasley67:
lteasley67 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012   General Artist
you're very welcome. :3 plus it is a very good poem. :aww:
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you so much Q~Q
Reply
:iconlteasley67:
lteasley67 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012   General Artist
you're welcome. ^-^
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Student Writer
so beautiful.....it's amazing! i love the images you desribe:D
Reply
:iconjaani-androphile:
jaani-androphile Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks :D
Reply
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June 28, 2012
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